We picked up our squeaky van at RaD Car Hire and promptly asked where’s the nearest McDonald’s. None in this town. However, the Scottish festival was right across the street.

Te Anau

There were four designated drivers for the car – Art, Jen, Lilyn and myself. Keep to the left. Ad nauseam.

Sandfly Cafe

We drove to town to find ourselves some “real” food. Venison burgers, pastries, shakes and sodas filled the bill. Cut your burgers in half. Let’s be civilized. How about soda refills?

Te Anau

Shopping around town was next on the list. We then checked in to our motel and took a well needed shower to scrub off four days of filth.

Te Anau Glowworm Caves

We drove around town before realizing it was easier just to walk to our attraction for the day from our motel. The light bulb takes time to turn on.

Te Anau Glowworm Caves

Going topside to catch the views of Lake Te Anau.

Te Anau Glowworm Caves

We soon had enough of the lake views and went back down to get warm.

Te Anau Glowworm Caves

Going up to the cavern house where the guides split us into manageable groups.

Te Anau Glowworm Caves

Our guide explained the glowworm caves were roughly 820′ long and dated at a geologically young 12,000 years old. They were part of the vast Aurora Cave system which is over four miles long and much older at 30-35 million years old. We were also told not to pluck the worms or eat them, as they needed them for future tours.

Te Anau Glowworm Caves

Since no photographs of the caves itself were allowed, I had to pull them from their website. Somebody promised us a constellation of lights in the “sky.” I think some of them were burned out.

Te Anau Glowworm Caves

After the cave tour, we went upstairs to grab some hot beverages and watched an informative video about the glowworms before boarding our boat for the return trip.

The Ranch Bar & Grill

We walked to our dinner to have seafood chowder, cuts of meat and still only a single glass of soda.

Te Anau

Taking the short walk back to our home for the night. The free milk was gone for the day.

Te Anau Motel & Apartmentss

April 8, 2023
We decided to cook the can of spam I had carried and not eaten on the Kepler Track, along with eggs, toast and rice. Just missing the shoyu. You can take the boy out of Hawaii, but not Hawaii out of the boy.

Hwy 94

Jen was the driver of the day along with Jasmin who had pulled up in her quiet Prius so I jumped in with her to preserve peace and harmony in the universe as we drove roughly two hours to Milford Sound.

Harris Saddle

Scenic lookout where we learned that European settlers basically followed the ancient pathway to create modern Milford Road. Why reinvent the wheel?

Mirror Lakes

The rest of the group stopped at the reflective lakes of Earl Mountains to update their Tinder profile pictures.

Homer Tunnel

Driving through the three-quarter mile road tunnel, that was once the longest gravel surfaced tunnel in the world, until it was paved and enlarged.

Milford Sound

We all hoped that we were getting on board the large boat, but instead got shunted to the smaller boat to take our cruise of Piopiotahi, the Maori name for this place. It ain’t the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean. Wait, are we talking about the same thing?

Milford Sound

Just missing James Horner’s soundtrack and Leo. Wait, the cutoff is 25 yo. Nvm.

Milford Sound

We passed near Fairy Falls with a surface rainbow, fur seals sunning themselves on the rocks who once were hunted for their fat, albatrosses floating like buoys in the water and made a quick run into the Tasman Sea.

Milford Sound

Group photo at the bow where the wind chill had me frozen to the spot, as we turned back into the fiord, yes fiord. Despite being misnamed back in 1812 by European sailors, Milford fiord was carved out by a glacier back in the day. A sound is created by river erosion, then flooded by the sea.

Palisade Falls

Passing a ribbon waterfall. Somebody got sick on the boat. Not seasick. A number of studies have shown that the color yellow can cause dizziness and nausea. It certainly rang true for somebody in the group.

Stirling Falls

Heading into the 508′ thundering falls aka Waimanu Falls located below the hanging valley to get drenched by the icy water, which is reputed to make people younger. Get us closer.

Stirling Falls

Do we look younger?

Milford Sound

Looking straight ahead at Mitre Peak or Rahotu, which is a mountain that rises to 5,560′ and was first climbed back in 1911. Added to the list.

Bowen Falls

Passing the tallest waterfall at 531′ aka Hineteawa that is one of two permanent waterfalls in the fiord, the other being Stirling. We got off the boat and walked to the nearby cafe to have meat pies for our late lunch.

Hwy 94

Art took the wheel to drive the four hours to Queenstown. Our AirBnB needed payment confirmation. Clock is ticking.

Hwy 6

When speed traps turn out to be tourist traps.

Hwy 6

Looking for the Devils Staircase. The devil is in the details.

Mountain Vista

We arrived at our home for the next couple of days.

Brazz

Eating our dinner at one of the few eateries still open late at night. Seafood chowder, cornbread, lamb and shrimp. Still looking for that elusive soda refill. 22NZD gets you three scallops, not four or five, just three.

Mountain Vista

April 9, 2023
Morning caffeine for the addicts.

Queenstown

Not all McDonald’s are created equal. In some people eyes.

Cardrona Hotel

We stopped at a historical leftover from the country’s Gold Rush days back in the 1860s. The hotel is one of the country’s oldest and most photographed buildings.

Lake Wanaka

The Wanaka Tree or Willow grew out of a willow fencepost that was staked out on the lakeshore 80 years ago. Life is always surprisingly hardy and resilient. The morning lighting wasn’t conducive to a certain photographer, so we headed to the nearby town to kill time by browsing at the local craft fair, buying apples by the bag and getting free pears to eat.

Wanaka

What’s for lunch? Nobody wanted Chinese or Mexican, so we walked over to Big Fig for beef cheeks and some not so good sh*t drinks and flavored gelato over at Black Peak where we also ran into Aida’s friend, Willy.

Wanaka Lavender Farm

We dropped in to the tourist attraction to pet a sheep, walk around the heavily aromatic and floral grounds, eat some lavender ice cream and buy some lavender products.

Red Bridge

Thanks to Willy for the tip on this photogenic spot above the horseshoe river.

Lost & Found

Hello? We have your dog. We want free soda refills. We rescued a loose dog from being a potential roadkill on the road and handed it over to a local couple who promised to return the dog to its rightful owners.

Lake Wanaka

We went back to New Zealand’s fourth largest lake to revisit that wanaka tree with Willy.

Lake Wanaka

A palm tree.

Trout Restaurant

We had dinner at a nearby restaurant with Willy before Jen made the long night drive back to Queenstown.

Mountain Vista

Sleepless in Queenstown. We could never finish watching a movie to its conclusion.

Mountain Vista

April 10, 2023
The girls cooked up a home made breakfast consisting of eggs, sausage, toast and waffles. Eggs are in short supply due to farming regulations which require eggs come from non-caged chickens and avian flu that has culled the chicken population, leading to limits on egg purchases.

Queenstown

It was my turn to get behind the right hand drive into the urbanized city. We had tossed around countless ideas on how to spend today – bungee jump, skydive, canyon swing, ATV, horse riding. The only one that stuck that seemed good for everybody was Skyline Queenstown. Now the only problem was to find parking. We should’ve listened to the birthday girl, Jasmin.

Skyline Queenstown

We dropped some of the group off to cut our waiting time in the long line down while we found suitable parking. When we went to rejoin them, a Kiwi Karen was not pleased that we were “cutting” in front of her, we explained that we were just joining our friends. She was still not suitably pleased. You can’t please everybody.

Skyline Queenstown

Riding in the gondola car as it took us up 1,476′ up to the skyline center.

Skyline Queenstown

Eating our lunch at the top.

Skyline Queenstown

Happy Birthday Jasmin!

Skyline Queenstown

One had to be somewhat fleet footed to get off the lift.

Skyline Queenstown

We all got schooled on how to use the luge carts and off we went.

Skyline Queenstown

Going down the easier arrow track on our first run.

Skyline Queenstown

Enjoying the over 5,000′ of banked corners, tunnels and dippers.

Skyline Queenstown

Going down the faster dart track on our next go around.

Skyline Queenstown

Queuing to get off. Don’t forget your phone. You know who I’m talking about. Most of us went back and used up all of our six rides. Some had more than others due to technical counting.

Skyline Queenstown

Somebody’s face was blurred to protect their privacy. That somebody was wanted for tipping somebody over on the track, and failing to render aid but instead laughing at that person’s misfortune and speeding away. Hit and run.

Skyline Queenstown

Only one of us purchased the official photos. Must be a mechanic.

Skyline Queenstown

Boarding the gondola cars to take us back down.

Kiwi Park

The closest we came to the flightless birds.

Queenstown

We drove to town and parked. Walked around town to pick public fruits, watch street shows, shop and eat ice cream.

King Made Noodles

Dinner at a nearby Chinese restaurant where the noodles were hand pulled and the only question was how high?

Mountain Vista

April 11, 2023
Our last morning in Queenstown as we checked out of our AirBnB.

NZ614

We caught our two hour flight from Queenstown to Auckland. No checked in bags this time around. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Auckland

Picked up our squeak-free van from Mode Rentals and made the mad two hour dash to Matamata.

Hobbiton

Group photo on the movie set turned tour site. The director of The Lord of the Rings, Peter Jackson, spotted Alexander Farm from the air in 1998 and concluded that it looked like a slice of ancient England. The rest is movie history.

Hobbiton

Originally they were 37 temporary hobbit holes constructed back in 1999, then the entire set was permanently rebuilt with 44 hobbit holes in 2011 for the Hobbit movies.

Hobbiton

Most of the fruits and vegetables used on the tour set are real and grown in the gardens around the site.

Hobbiton

Jen pumping and drinking water out of the fountain of youth. Most hobbits live to be 100 years old.

Hobbiton

One of the hobbit holes where you can actually go inside, the rest are mainly used for storage.

Hobbiton

Looking from the inside out.

Hobbiton

Off trail. You can take the girl out of Hawaii, but you can’t take Hawaii out of the girl.

Hobbiton

Looking down at the field that is dominated by the Party Tree, Green Dragon Inn and the under construction interactive hobbit hole. Coming to a Middle Earth near you in December.

Hobbiton

Group photo in front of Bag End, home to Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. It was named after a farmhouse in which JRR Tolkien’s aunt used to live in the Worcestershire village of Dormston.

Hobbiton

Looking up at the imposing oak tree planted above Bag End, which is fake right down to its fiberglass branches and hand painted silk leaves imported from Taiwan.

Hobbiton

Group photo at the beekeepers house. Knock knock. Buzz off.

Hobbiton

Real jars of honey. As long as they remain sealed, the sugar substance will not spoil due to extreme acidity, lack of moisture and the bees enzymes.

Hobbiton

Manual bell ringing. It was time to eat, drink and be merry.

Hobbiton

Jen sitting by the lake that also doubles as a river.

Hobbiton

The fish weren’t biting today. Perhaps you should try a different fishing pole. Like a real one.

Hobbiton

Looking back at the double arched stone bridge we had just crossed and the old mill with the water wheel turning from the flowing water.

Hobbiton

Slave drivers.

Hobbiton

The group was funneled to The Green Dragon Inn where we all received a complimentary beverage that marked the end of the tour. Everything else was extra. Not the photobomber. That was complimentary as well.

Hobbiton

Enjoyed my non-alcoholic ginger beer and hobbit sized beef and ale pie in the crisp fall air. Back off sparrow. Go find a bug elsewhere.

Hobbiton

Closing the door on our tour of The Shire. Time to drive back to Auckland.

Szimpla

Our last dinner in country where somebody actually didn’t finish their meal. Are you recording? Yes, for posterity’s sake. Or somebody’s sake.

Auckland

How many people does it take to figure out how to pump gas and give directions? Straight. The other straight. I do know, it only takes one hit and run driver to smash somebody’s fingers in the door window.

HA446

Flew back to priced out of paradise and thanks to Chico for picking us up at the airport. The one custom we picked up from New Zealand was the custom of picking up hitch hikers as we picked one up that was running to catch his bus to Pearl City. Many thanks to Quan and Lilyn for arranging the huts, car rentals, accommodations and attractions that made for an amazing trip. All around fun with a good group of friends.

Photos taken by Aida Gordon, Art Young, Jen Odence, Lilyn Avendano, Quan Haberstroh and yours truly. Not necessarily in order.

Note: I have been made aware that some hikers have been using my blog as a hiking guide and getting lost on the trails. Please note that this blog was made to document the hike for the crew(s) that did it. That is why some of my comments will seem to have no relevance or meaning to anybody outside of the crew(s) that hiked that trail. My blog was never meant as a hiking guide, so please do not treat it as such. If you find inspiration and entertainment from these hikes, that is more than enough. If you plan on replicating these hikes, do so in the knowledge that you should do your own research accordingly as trail conditions, access, legalities and so forth are constantly in flux. What was current today is most likely yesterdays news. Please be prepared to accept any risks and responsibilities on your own as you should know your own limitations, experience and abilities before you even set foot on a trail, as even the “simplest” or “easiest” of trails can present potential pitfalls for even the most “experienced” hikers. One should also always let somebody know of your hiking plans in case something doesn’t go as planned, better safe than sorry.